Tiktok has been helping us get through the pandemic with its upbeat, often comical content and dances. Now, thanks to Lisa Torres (@lisalovesrandom), it's even become a source for bridal party inspiration. This Tiktok video influencer decided to give her good friends a bridal party transparency letter.
This two-page letter helps friends and family understand upfront how much of the wedding planning they are responsible for should they accept to be in her bridal party. Now a trending concept, it's not hard to see why Tiktokers quickly approved of her message. Here are just a few of the reasons to consider this trend for your big day.
The bridal party transparency letter benefits
1. Helps to set bridesmaids expectations
Joining in as a bridal party member can be good fun, but it also comes with extensive financial and time commitments that often go undiscussed. With some couples opting for micro weddings and shifting gears on other traditions, the letter can clarify the overall vision.
For example, the bride may not feel the need for classic matching bridesmaids' dresses. The letter is the perfect place to let the bridal party know that they can use their own dress or pick a bridesmaid dress that suits their budget (maybe within a suggested color pallet).
2. Provides an "easy out" to potential bridesmaids
With this letter, the bride is saying to her friends and family that it's okay if they can't be available to participate without any guilt or hurt feelings involved. It eliminates the obligation to participate when without it, friends and family may feel pressured. This empathic approach takes the burden off of your guests to express their concerns. It also makes it clear that they would be welcomed to attend as a regular guest if they can’t meet the outlined expectations.
3. The bride-to-be will know where she stands with her bridal party
With emotions running high and all kinds of circumstances affecting couples and their families in the past year, this can help provide some stability to wedding planning. It accounts for real-life scenarios versus forcing friends and family to accommodate what might feel like unrealistic expectations.
Hacks to help you write the letter
If you're thinking of creating your own bridal party transparency letter for your wedding party, here are some tips:
- Spruce it up by including the bridal party transparency letter inside a bridesmaid proposal box. Look for ideas on social media sites like Pinterest to match creativity with your budget for the bridesmaid box. It doesn't need to be overly elaborate, just thoughtful.
- Try to provide a timeline of all significant events leading up to the big day. This might include wedding dress shopping appointments and/or helping to organize a bridal shower, Bachelorette party, or rehearsal dinner. Be explicit about the costs and where attendance is mandatory for the bridal party members.
- Keep it light! Emphasize your gratitude whether they accept or not. Remember, this is a sentimental event that your people want to be a part of but may not have the capacity to meet all of the goals.
- Feel free to add a FAQ section: doing your research in online forums about what your bridal party may be concerned about shows that you're thinking of their needs.
Consider a bridal party transparency letter
Everyone is different; some may want a Disney-style bridal shower, while others may be fine with a small, livestreamed wedding ceremony. Providing your bridal party with all the information upfront helps everyone to prepare for their involvement.
It both gives the bride a clear understanding of how much her bridal party is expected to contribute and gives friends and family the ability to opt-out guilt-free. Commenters on the app have praised Lisa's mature approach, and we applaud it too.